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About Me Member General Addict rinabeana15/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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280 Comments
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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: My house
  • Interests: Music, books, Catching Lightning bugs,sunrise, and warm summer nights I'm a girl of simple intr
  • Favourite band or musician: That's like saying which is your favorite one of your children. Its too hard to decide.
  • Favourite genre of music: anything but rap
  • MP3 player of choice: Mikey
  • Shell of choice: Turtle.
  • Skin of choice: Racist...
  • Favourite game: Left 4 Dead
  • Personal Quote: Your Water bottle just Jizzed on my nice blouse.

deviantID

My name is Serina. I tend to capitalize things I'm not suppose to. I'm a real Girl who tends to also spell shit wrong. :D

I am sick and tired of waiting.

Sun Sep 20, 2009, 8:41 PM
OK so I've realized that i a mediocre at best at everything i do. I can't play sports, My grades suck, i can't play any instrument, i can't dance, and I'm not funny, i used to think i could sing but i realized there are way better people than me out there. Like i said I'm mediocre at best. I stutter occasionallyA lot actually and can't say what i think. I act tough on the outside I'm terrified on the inside. I'm bad with word and feelings. Relationships scare me most. I am terrified of having to depend on someone. I'm terrified of being left. I'm always the butt of the joke. I'm terrified of being alone. I'm just plain terrified.

I used to think that i knew a shitload about music then i realized i don't really know shit. The only thing i am good at is hiding how i feel and lying. I fool those closet to me the easiest. I don't know if its because they don't care or i just know how to work them but all i have to say is "I'm fine, really." and they drop it. I am no one's actually best friend i am just the kid you hang out with occasionally when your bored or sometimes when you generally miss my company. I am the kid you invite to the sleep over when someone drops out or at the last minute because i call. I'm the kid who always invites someone to sleep over but no one can or wants to. I am the one who yeah we have a couple of inside jokes but if it came down to it you would rather hang out with some one else. I am the kid that if it came down to coming to my birthday party or someone else's birthday party you would either stop by for a sec to drop off the gift and then scurry over to the other party. I am that awkward friend that everybody needs...

People think I'm "straight edge" Because i don't drink and don't do drugs. but I don't do drugs because I'm afraid of not being in control and I'm afraid of messing up my voice because i want to be a singerthough i don't know why i bother.. And i don't drink because when i think of alcohol it make my stomach curl into itself because when i tried to kill my self last year i took a bottle of pills and washed it down with Bacardi and now i can't look at pills or alcohol without wanting to vomit.

I have no place in this societyin this world I'm not Pretty. I'm not skinny. I'm not smart. I'm not an athlete. I'm not a stoner. I'd most likely jump out my office window if i had to work a desk job. Where the fuck do i fit in?

This a started with a girl. I wonder if i never talked to her or fell for her would i feel this way? Would i actually being doing well in school? Would i like the same things i like now? Would i be popular or skinny? Would i like Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus instead of Panic! At The Disco and Fall out Boy?


I'm sorry i took up your time. This was just how i'm feeling right now. I don't expect anyone to actually read this. It was suppose to make me feel better it only kinda did but whatever its there now i'm done
Good night.

  • Mood: Satisfied
  • Listening to: Sky High Standard- Never Shout Never
  • Eating: Phil's Pizza

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Comments


:icondjfruitypebbles:
:iconnorrisplz:

--
For old time's sake, my heart will ache for a love song.
:icondjfruitypebbles:
[link] I love you!!!
Just so ya know.

--
For old time's sake, my heart will ache for a love song.
:icondjfruitypebbles:
Did you know I just lost the game?

--
For old time's sake, my heart will ache for a love song.
:icondjfruitypebbles:
[link]
OH GOD!

--
For old time's sake, my heart will ache for a love song.
:iconrinabeana:
lmao i thought Izzy was back....

--
“In Florida, you can get Disney shit, or in New Mexico, you can get funky little knitted coasters. What can you get in Utah?”

“Two wives?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like Spaghetti. Let's go fuck.”
:icondjfruitypebbles:
No. Its just really funny. :D

--
For old time's sake, my heart will ache for a love song.
:iconrinabeana:
I know.

--
“In Florida, you can get Disney shit, or in New Mexico, you can get funky little knitted coasters. What can you get in Utah?”

“Two wives?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like Spaghetti. Let's go fuck.”
:icondjfruitypebbles:
They call me Superman. Leap tall hoes in a single bound.

--
For old time's sake, my heart will ache for a love song.
:iconrinabeana:
*yawns*

--
“In Florida, you can get Disney shit, or in New Mexico, you can get funky little knitted coasters. What can you get in Utah?”

“Two wives?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like Spaghetti. Let's go fuck.”
:icondjfruitypebbles:
I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady.

--
For old time's sake, my heart will ache for a love song.

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